Relationship Tools

Having the correct tool for the job can make a world of difference. The same is for our relationships. Below are tools developed by the Gottman Institute to help you and your partner better communicate and navigate issues in your relationship.


Sound Relationship House

The Sound Relationship House Theory was developed by John and Julie Gottman. It is a blueprint for healthy relationships with your partner. Click on image for PDF.

Conflict Blueprint

Overview of different skills and tools to use to navigate problems and issues in your relationship. Click on image for PDF.

Dreams within Conflict

Use this tool when you are addressing Gridlock on a Perpetual Problem. Seek to understand underlying dreams, history, beliefs or values. Click on image for PDF.

Guidelines for Communicating

Gottman-Rapoport Intervention provides rules for the speaker and listener when discussing a topic. Click on image for PDF.

Art of Compromise

Yield to Win. Two circles method to help both of you be heard and understood. Click on image for PDF.

Repair Checklist

Being able to make repairs during conflict is a happy couple’s “Secret Weapon.” Use this list to help you find out what helps you and your partner course correct during an argument. Click on image for PDF.

Relationship Guides

Fondness & Admiration

A 7-Week Guide to increase positive feelings about the relationship and create more connection and intimacy. Click on image for PDF.

Small Things Often

Making regular “deposits” into your “emotional bank account” helps to build a positive, lasting relationship. Click on image for PDF.

Aftermath of a Fight

How to heal and make repairs in your relationship after a fight or regrettable incident. Click on image for PDF.

Be a Great Listner

Learn the Art of Listening to Create Intimate Conversation, Trust and Love. Click on image for PDF.

Avoid the Four Horsemen

Learn how to prevent Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling, which are corrosive to relationships. Learn the antidotes to the Four Horsemen. Click on image for PDF.


Stress during conflict can lead to physiological flooding, which can then lead to negative cycles in relationship. Learn tools to self-soothe and remain calm during conflict. Click on image for PDF.


Dr. John Gottman presenting on the “Four Horsemen” and their antidotes.