Week One: Think and Speak the Good.
When you and your partner got together there was probably a lot of fondness and admiration. Those feelings filled the future with hope and excitement. Suddenly, life changes and stressors turn the everyday neutral moments into arguments and standoffs. Left unchecked, it is easy to let life and stress errode your relationship. Negative Sentiment Override starts to take over.
When negative sentiment override takes over, couples miss at least 50% of the good that the partners are doing.
You fail to notice the time your partner makes that late night grocery run, washes the sink of dishes, or puts fresh flowers on the table. On the flip side your efforts feels missed. You start to think "my partner doesn't even notice...". You and your partner are doing the negativity dance, stepping on each other, and dodging one another. What if you could hit pause, restart the music and line up the dance moves to be in sync again? The good news is that you can.
Take these prompts with you into your day. Spend at least 20 minutes on your daily prompt, thinking over the positives* of your partner.
Rebuilding fondness and admiration can revive any relationship, especially with those we have chosen to love for life.
- I am genuinely found of my partner. List one characteristic you find endearing or loveable.
- I can easily speak of the good times in our relationship. Pick one good time, write a paragraph or text message to yourself about it.
- I can easily remember romantic, special times in our relationship. Pick a time(s) and think about it throughout your day.
- I am physically attracted to my partner. Think on one physical attribute you like or appreciate about your partner.
- My partner has specific qualities that make me proud. Think or write down one characteristic that makes you proud of your partner.
Try to genuinely think and rehearse these positive thoughts about your partner during your day.
*If you are in a relationship that feels unsafe, or has become emotionally damaging to the point of concern please seek assistance through a local and trusted therapist. Everyone deserves a safe relationship. We can provide a list of individual therapists who can help.