Relationship Caution Signs: How Did We Get Here?
Detours in relationships are no big deal, adventure right? But sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, without knowing how to get back. You have been driving without looking at the map, the gas gauge, or the road signs. The caution signs were there but you were both focused on other things: Your kid in the back seat, the jobs, the stress of planning the trip, the expectations of when you get there....and the list goes on.
There are four caution signs in particular that are the most impactful to navigating a healthy relationship. These signs were identified through decades of research on couples, by leading relationship expert Dr. John Gottman. Dr. Gottman refers to these signs as "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse." These four caution signs; when recognized and properly addressed can transform your "we're lost" moment into a opportunity to learn how to travel better together.
The Four Horsemen include criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Watch this short video to explore more on their impacts to your relationship.
Maybe in watching this short video you saw dynamics that you and your relationship fall into. These four caution signs don't mean that you are doomed. It means that you and your partner have some work to do! It's time to pull out the map and get reoriented to your journey. The great news is that there are research based tools that are practical and can change these pain points, making you master navigators.